It Won’t Be Like This For Long

The song “It Won’t Be Like This For Long” by Darius Rucker really hits hard with me these days. Baby Girl will be a year old next week, a day I’m going to end up crying on. When we brought her home I was getting around 4 hours of sleep a night, I even started a “no sleep chronicles” on Snapchat where I would time stamp the moments I was awake. But, as that song states, it wasn’t like that for long. My little lip tied, breast fed princess figured out this sleep thing and she was sleeping through the night from two months. It was so reliable, I would change her into jammies, turn on her sound machine, nurse her, and she’d be out for the rest of the night. I was so thankful for this when I went back to work when she was 10 weeks old, especially because we had to be up by five to get in a nursing session before dropping her off at her sitter’s.

Then six months came around, she learned to crawl, sit up on her own, and she had two teeth coming in. The pattern of waking up at 5 o’clock was also ingrained on her internal clock. There would also be nights where she would wake up at midnight and wouldn’t settle back with a good enough sleep to be laid down until two. It was back to those sleepless nights all over again.

Now I have a walking, energetic, darling with almost 5 teeth. Some nights are good and she’ll sleep the “whole” night (as in she wakes up at five o’clock). Other nights? Other nights she decides she wants to go to bed early and wake up every two hours until around 1 am where she’ll finally settle into a deep enough sleep until five and then maybe asleep again until 7:30, 8:00. (Those nights I usually give up trying to get her to sleep again in her bed after 1 and she ends up snuggled with us, attached to her milky) On these nights I tell myself those lyrics again: It won’t be like this for long. There will be a day when I miss snuggling with her, when I miss looking down at her peaceful face, when I miss being able to rock her.

There will also be a day when I’m not worried so much it’s hard for me to fall asleep, the SIDS fear is so real with new moms y’all. I used to sleep with my hand on her chest when she was in her bassinet because I was so afraid she would stop breathing and I wouldn’t know. But we’ve made it to almost a year Baby Girl! A year of plenty of sleepless nights and coffee filled mornings.

But I seriously can’t wait until I can snore like my husband haha.

alt+3

Caroline